Overview

(You can skip this..even I got bored just by looking at it)

     Just finished a 130 mile hike.

     So as it turns out, I did a lot of things wrong and a lot of things right. First of all, I got to Chinatown. From the very beginning of the trip, I visualized being right there in front of the rabbit statue, and I eventually did it. I wouldn’t say that was THE most important thing, though…if I wanted to, I could have packed my bag and then driven to Chinatown easily enough.

     The most important thing was…that there was no ‘most important’ thing. The experience itself transcended any goals, brought me to what I thought my limits were and beyond. Lydia, one of my saviors, said that it was a rite of passage. Honestly, I don’t really know why I did it except that it was scary and I wanted to see if I could face that fear. In retrospect, it has definitely turned out to be a rite of passage, though to what place I’ve passed through to is a mystery. It’s a better place for sure; I know that much.

     I spent the week before in cold chills with no concrete fear other than the magnitude of the task in front of me. To combat that, I focused on the image of taking that first step on the road, the dust rising around my shoes, committing to the path ahead of me. The image was concrete – I could practically feel the gravel grinding underfoot. The fear, on the other hand, was vague, and if it was a specific fear, I thought of a specific solution. I didn’t realize until now how much that helped. In my mind, concrete visualizations turned into successes even before I’d set foot outside and specific fears became problems that were overcome, a different kind of success. The cold grip of fear was still there, but I could do something about it. I realized that the unnameable fear came down to a lack of faith in myself. I normally think of myself as a confident person, so that came as a shock. It’s not until you test yourself that you know yourself.

     Anyway, I came into this with a few preconceived goals, many of which were realistically impossible. Basically it comes down to making it all the way on foot and making it in two days. Technically, it’s possible, but much easier if you are prepared for it. These two goals caused me trouble from the start. I knew I wasn’t in the proper physical condition to do this; I’d never done anything physical long distance before, and I hadn’t done any special training for it. Furthermore, I have had very few successes with all nighters – I need my sleep. To convince myself it possible, I actually partially convinced myself that being on the move would awaken super powers that lay dormant in humans who never moved across the land like our prehistoric ancestors did. To some extent, I still think this is true. I am operating on very little periods of rest, fragmented across the trip…and I am still going. Well, sort of. The bit about not being physically prepared is still true, so while I’m still going, I am limping. And I doubt our prehistoric ancestors carried 30-40 pounds of gear everywhere they went.

     However, it remains the case that I wasn’t completely convinced, so I packed a lot of 5-hour energy drinks and, most controversially in my mind, incomplete camping gear. I brought everything but the tent, deeming it too heavy to be able to complete a 130 mile trek in two days. I brought a self-inflating mat, a sleeping bag, and a small tarp, figuring that if it rained I would wrap myself up like a burrito. No, that doesn’t work. Yes, I am stupid. The worst part about all of this, though, was that it conflicted with both goals. There was no way I could bring all that gear and complete the trip in two days on foot. If I brought the tent, I might have been able to complete the entire trip on foot, but not in two days. If I ditched all of it, I would have a better shot at completing the trip in two days…if I was physically prepared, which I was not. I remarked on Facebook that leaving just the tent was a bad compromise and it turned out to be a terrible compromise, as I would find out in the middle of the storm from Hell.

     Let’s see, other mistakes…bringing anything electronic besides my cell phone and the GPS. The chargers, the power strip, everything took up a lot of space and hampered organization efforts. Organization makes a big difference when you need to get to something in your pack fast. Not making sure my gear was waterproof. Bringing too many clothes and not enough of the right kinds, like socks. I could have left all of my underwear behind, as I stopped wearing any not even midway into the trip. Bringing my journal, again just conflicted with the time requirements, because when was I going to have the time or energy to journal when I’m constantly on the move? Packing only large quantities of rice for sustenance – initially, it did fine, but it’s incredibly heavy and mostly water weight. Something like matzo would have been better…light and full of carbs. Speaking of heavy things, I ended up throwing out a jar of peanut butter because it was insanely heavy and inconvenient to eat.

Anyway…

The Story

     The week before I set out was a mess. I knew the various things that I wanted to get together, and I accumulated them in fits and bursts, throwing them in piles on the floor. Thursday, the day before, I began to carbo-load, which consists of a high intensity sprint followed by eating 12g of carbohydrates per 12kg of body mass. After doing the appropriate conversions, it came out to the equivalent of 1.68 pounds of rice…dry weight. So I started cooking rice. Honestly, I have no idea how much carbo-loading actually helped.

     On Friday night, I got everything packed up, started cooking the last batch of rice to take on the road, and had dinner with David, Victor, Fong, Jeff, Ying Ying, and Pei, which was super kind of them. It gave me hope. I should have insisted on doing the dishes, but it was almost time to go. I got back and instantly knew something was wrong when I tried lifting my backpack. It was unreasonably heavy, possibly up to 40 pounds. DK stopped by to wish me luck, and we chatted while I put the finishing touches on the pack – reflective tape.

     I had asked Don to give me a boost to just outside of town, so I left when Don and Wilson stopped by. They took me to the outskirts of town. I got out and started walking and Don and Wilson drove alongside for a while. We had a cinematic moment as Don strummed on his guitar and I sang Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Then I got back in the car and we turned around. I had forgotten bug spray. And I would need it. At about 9:30, we got to the actual dropoff point, which was about 5 miles farther than they had originally dropped me off. Along the way, the bugs were so thick it was as if the cornfields were snowing. They were highlighted by the headlights like a blizzard of blood sucking snow.

     Oh. Exhaustion finally hit me. I’ll finish this in another post when I wake up.

UPDATE

     I never passed out. Too busy replying to stuff and getting this nifty thing set up (zoom way out):

View Chinatown Hike in a larger map

     This pretty much traces my path. Most of the points are chronological, but not all. I went back here and there.

     I’ll actually let you go through the points to see where I went and what I was thinking at the time. For an idea of what time passed, by the time I got to Paxton, it was about 7am and I’d been walking for 10 hours. I got to Loda at 8am, called a coworker who happened to live there (who I’d only just met the day before) and slept again for a bit. I headed out again. Sundown next was during the bus ride between Kankakee and Manteno. Joe Park, Richard Chen, and DK actually called while I was getting my shit together in Kankakee and really motivated me to keep going, but I remember this specifically because I had to cut my discussion with DK short as the sun was going down and I had shit to get in order, as I said.

     OH, BY THE WAY

THANK YOU:

Jeane Choi, Spence Lome, Annie Choi – for the Camelbak! God, what a lifesaver! I don’t think I would have made it anywhere during daylight hours without that thing.

Matt Sanghwan Lee – for the GPS! I would have made it places, but I would have had no idea where the fuck those places were. I depended on the GPS a LOT.

DK - for the health kit (lolz yes, I said health kit), words of support, and visit just before I left.

Fong Fan, Jeff Zhang, Ying Ying, David Jung, Victor, and Pei – for dinner and support just before I left!

Jen Chen – for the ankle braces and painkillers!

Don Mach, Wilson Thai – for the warmhearted drop off and insect repellent! And texts throughout the trip!

George Wu – for helping talk me through it before, trying to anticipate problems ahead of time.

Joy House – for inspiring me. Seriously. You are bad ass.

Kin Fong, Perry Chu, Spencer Lome, Deen Farooq, Brent Trotter, Winnie Cheng and Nathan Cheng – for the words of advice on my blog. Definitely needed them! And Kin…What?! XD

Officer Berns – for the ride! If I’m ever in Loda again, I’ll ask around for you. My gratitude!

Sunny Choi, Leslie Elizabeth, Jake Chen, Peter Hu, Kyou, Sigmund Ku, Jamie Lang, Nathan Cheng – for the texts during the trip. These kept me going at checkpoints.

My family, Alyson Kung, Khin Way Kung, and Malina Chin – for picking me up and saving my ass and then treating me to dim sum!

Lydia and Alyssa Hernandez – I have no words, no way to convey my debt to you. You were angels in the darkness. Thank you so much for everything you did. Lydia, I hope your husband came back skunk-free!

     Everyone – for your support and for giving me Hope! Truth is, I Love you. But next time I try to kill myself, one of you act like you care and try to stop me, alright? Haha, just kidding.

     Probably couldn’t stop me anyway.

Weird Random Thoughts

• I think rice vaporizes when it hits the stomach, because I didn’t take a sizeable crap the whole time.
• I lost 5 pounds on this trip
• My stomach shrunk…I filled up fast at dim sum
• People who stop to ask if I need a ride are nice
• People who scream as I pass are assholes
• People warn me against hitchhiking and against people giving rides
• I think more people are nice than are mean. And besides, the nice actions have more meaningful effects anyway.
• Part of the reason I did this is to face my fear, like I said. But another part is because I wanted you to know that it’s possible, and to reach beyond what you think you can do.
• Days I can eat just rice and furikake rice seasoning without hating it: 2
• Times I wanna see large containers of rice in the near future: 0
• Times people stopped to ask if I needed a ride: 7
• Times people drove by screaming: 4-5
• Times I screamed back: 1
• Times I saw a glowing, ethereal memorial at the side of the road during the storm from Hell for someone who had died and thought the area was haunted: 1
• Number of Clif Bars eaten: 2.5
• Number of 5-Hour Energy shots downed: 4
• Number of times I brushed my teeth, dry: 1
• Number of times I showered (rain): 2
• Number of times I showered (sweat): 2
• Number of times I showered (soap): 0
• Number of times I uttered “Truth, Love, Hope” with every step: Uncounted. Many, many times. It helped me keep moving.
• Number of miles traveled (foot): ~55
• Number of miles traveled (train): ~30
• Number of miles traveled (bus): ~10
• Number of miles traveled (squad car): ~30
• Number of miles traveled (Wilson’s grocery getter): ~5
• Number of brilliant ideas I had after waking up: 3
• Number of brilliant ideas I had after waking up that turned out to be stupid and make me look like a fool or a lunatic: 1
• Number of hours it took: ~36

     The day is winding down. And another day, far longer, is winding up.

     Tomorrow, I’m going to walk this route, from Urbana to Chicago’s Chinatown.

     The night is calm. I am not sure that I can do this. I have a feeling that this battle alone, the one I am about to embark on tonight, while I meditate, will determine my success. In one mentality, I have already lost. I have not yet found the other.

     My heart is beating faster just thinking about it. Visualizing the trail and the destination. Feeling the asphalt underfoot and the hot sun above. I chose this weekend for the full moon, but the forecast says it will be cloudy. Hopefully only during the day.

     I tried carbohydrate loading today. I haven’t quite eaten the required 12g per 1kg of body mass in carbohydrates, but it hasn’t been a full 24 hours yet, so I have time. We’ll see how that works. I have to get a flashlight from the car and extra batteries. Attach the reflective stickers to my backpack and pack everything up – dump my extra pair of shoes in there, too. Pack up my various chargers and bring a power strip to steal electricity wherever possible. Hat for shade. Ankle braces. Knee braces. Pain killers. Thanks, Jen. Some Clif Bars, a 6-pack of 5-hour energy. Notebook to scrawl in. Cellphone. Video camera. Google Maps directions.

MUST BUY:
Extra batteries (AAA)
Pain killers (pills)
Baby powder
Sunscreen
Sunglasses

MUST DO:
Attach reflective tape to backpack
Pack everything away
Make more rice
Pack some rice
Freeze some rice
Fill iPod with songs
Wash water bottles
Fill with water
Bring Toilet paper
Meditate
Meditate
Meditate

Truth. Love. Hope.

~Brian Kung

*EDIT* Changing the parameters a bit. I’m going to bring stuff to sleep on and move only during the night when it’s cooler. There’s a heat advisory. This almost definitely means calling off my Monday appointment.

     I woke up today instilled with a sense of foreboding.  I was hopeless, friendless, and with a long road before me, all I wanted was for someone to tell me that they believed in me.  

     I was having a crisis of faith.  Faith in myself. Because what I’m planning this Friday and the ensuing weekend is possibly less sane than anything I’ve attempted before. Yes, those are walking directions. No, I don’t know what I’m going to do about dogs. Perhaps somewhere along the way I will pick up a stick to defend myself.

     I didn’t stop feeling sorry for myself, but I did pack everything I needed and left. I had an appointment with Tanagram, and I was going to keep it. Funny thing is, somewhere along the way, I stopped moping. I arrived about half an hour early, so I wandered about the city for a bit, then returned and still had time to solve Redeye’s sudoku of the day. Unfortunately, my contact had an emergency which ended up cutting my visit short, as they had no idea what to do with me.

     And yet, even so, I kept my head up. On the drive into Chicago, I reminded myself of the value of Hopefulness, and soldiered on. I also ate a piece of dark chocolate. So remember, when all seems lost, eat dark chocolate because the antioxidant flavanols boost blood flow to the brain and the cacao content triggers a hefty endorphin release, leading to an improved mood.

     Oh, and don’t forget Truth, Love, and Hope!

     PS, I’m walking to Chicago from Urbana Champaign this weekend. Wish me luck!

I just saw Inception, which was an excellent movie, but at the same time, I didn’t like it.

…what?

The acting is great.  The action is inventive.  The plot is a bit contrived. The cinematography is good as well, but beside all of these details, what makes Inception a good movie is the fact that it makes the viewer think.  In fact, the entire point of the movie is contained in the last scene.

I won’t give it away, but it is intended to make you think.

Let’s start with the acting.  I really don’t know how to detect bad acting.  Let’s skip acting.

The action…what’s funny about the action is that it’s incidental to the movie.  There is action in this movie, but it is not an action movie.  It’s strange how the characters avoid getting shot…even a bit more so than most other movies.  This can be forgiven, however.

The plot could have been more or less surreal without really affecting the quality of the movie because of the very nature of the plot itself, but the existence of the technology is not explained, nor are the motivations of the experts corralled into helping the main character.  It’s populated by shady extra governmental militant corporations and unlikely characters.  In fact, most of this movie seems to exist in the main character’s head.  And they even mention the unreality of it all at one point.

Suspicious.

Now for the cinematography.  I also don’t know how to evaluate that.  There were some pretty scenes.  I liked them.  But let’s skip cinematography, because I’m an uneducated boor.

REALLY, though, the best part of this movie is that it makes you think, constantly.  It’s about a technology that allows you to infiltrate other peoples’ dreams and steal information.  But the dream reality is just as convincing as real life…it has to be, or the dream will start to implode as the dreamer realizes it’s a dream, and his or her subconscious will begin to eliminate any intruders.  And you wake from a dream most easily when you die.

I guess the best way to reframe this movie as a philosophical exercise is exactly that, actually.  What if life was a dream, and the only way to wake from it were to die?  Would you ever know during your life?

That said, I didn’t like the movie, primarily because I couldn’t suspend my disbelief, and the movie turned out to be Shutter Island II.  My subconscious immediately abstracted it out to the problem above, and I no longer cared about the movie or any of the multiple dreams the characters inhabited…

But there’s still something missing.  Something I’m not seeing, or something that I glossed over.  I just can’t think of it…

What I’m looking for is some positive message in this.  Truth, Love, Hope, all that jazz.  Someone help me out?

     I recently discovered Metaweb, by the simple fact that it had been bought by Google. Metaweb does some really fascinating stuff involving “entities”:

     For those of us not willing to watch the five minute video (I generally fall into this category), an entity is kind of like an ID for discrete things: people, places, or objects. So whenever people ID things, it adds a bit to that entity. So, for example, the University of Illinois is known as UIUC, UoI, U of I, all sorts of names, but everyone is talking about one university. Metaweb would still, however, attach everything to the “University of Illinois” entity. So theoretically, an entity contains every mention of that person, place, or object, every photo, and every relevant piece of data. Entities are an abstraction of the confusing mess of data that search engines deal with every day, and allow relationships to be mapped out much more easily.

     Anyway…on a more relevant note, if you had a search engine that was actively constructing you as an entity, gathering photos, comments on websites, blog posts, and whatnot…isn’t that a lifestream? Furthermore, wouldn’t you want control over it?

     I’m glad that Google is keeping FreeBase, Metaweb’s open structured database, free to the public and open. That way, Metaweb’s entities are open for everyone. But I’m still uneasy about having entities under one company’s control. Are there any alternatives? Preferably free and opensource.

Diaspora?

     I just started exercising my brain using dual n back mental exercises. It’s REALLY tough, to the point where I don’t even want to do it. I haven’t quite gotten into the groove where difficult = fun…yet. I’m on the cusp, though. I have to take a break before that happens.

     Anyway, for the skeptics out there, here’s the Wired article on dual n back (dnb) exercises:

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/04/smart_software

     And here’s the game I’m using to train:

http://brainworkshop.sourceforge.net/

     Anybody know any way that I can measure my “working memory” or “fluid intelligence” so that I can start benchmarking? That way I can let you know if there are any actual results from this exercise.

     I spent the day talking to commercial real estate agents. One in particular stood out – Todd Salen. This man is a gentleman and a scholar. And I mean this, despite my tired mind being able to reach out only to the nearest meme.

     Todd spends a great deal of his time mentoring young people, getting them out of trouble and onto the right path in life. He is also an independent real estate agent specializing in commercial real estate, which means that he comes into contact with a great deal of young people and a great deal of entrepreneurs, which, I believe, keeps you young. Todd is full of life, managing to be entertaining, inspiring, and informative at the same time.

     Everything I do requires the ability to communicate and connect with people, and I’m loving it. Finding interesting people to talk to, having great conversations, and learning, is what my life consists of. I have never been more engaged. Yesterday, I had to take a break from working on the bakery, but also a break from life. I was burning up, unable to sleep the night before that, because I was unhinged and unstable, gears constantly churning on problems and ways to improve. Some people have to take days off from studying…I have to take days off from Life, and that is wonderful to me.

     The types of people I’m meeting in my quest to figure out this “entrepreneur” within me are fascinating beyond belief. Karen Rabbitt, Eric Hansen, Daniel Vidakovich from the Linchpins meetup. Don, my partner in crime. Pop SocialMedia and Tanagram Partners in Chicago, who I look forward to meeting with. Seka, from Pekara Bakery, and Ryan McNeily of Howbowda Bagel. The takeaway is that entrepreneurs at every level, whether they’re famous or not, are fascinating. They have some sort of spark that propels them, drives them to create. And it’s catching.

     When I was working at Meijer, I was so bored there that I jumped at any chance to be doing anything other than absolutely nothing. What that turned out to be was people coming into the garden. I learned to appreciate people no matter what their backgrounds were, and to try to connect with them and be an agent of help as much as I could.

     The more I read, the more I become aware that this human connection is what will define American success in the coming years. In the industrial age, we learned how to mass produce what we needed. Then we figured out how to mass produce what we wanted. And now that we all have our basic needs and even our wants met, the next step is…Humanity. Truly heart-to-heart connections. This transcends materiality.

     People First.

     You can write that in the books.

     I’m serious. I think it would do the United States a lot of good.

     …well, not you, specifically, but if everyone ran for some sort of office, we’d all be better off. Let’s just say Mayor, for the sake of simplicity, but let’s be clear that I mean every position.

     Side note: I have very little time before I pass out. Anyway, onward.

     What’s there to lose, after all? I’m sure the experience and knowledge you would gain would be more than worth it. And if everyone ran for office, the candidate pool would be much better, meaning a “more perfect Union” and all that jazz.

     Just be prepared to win as well.

     I guess it’s time for an update.

     Let’s have a quick run-down of my summer, shall we?

• Got a motorcycle license.
• Got to a third interview with a brand spanking new marketing company.
• Got a haircut…then cut the rest of my hair off. Still have to go completely bald, though.
• Got a job at Meijer…then I quit.
• Caught a bird. Failed to save a bird.
• Watched some movies.
• Starting a bakery with Don.
• Got some nude photos taken.
• Helped out a dude, or tried to, with his web mapping application.
• Danced some. Not enough.
• Planches. Working on ‘em.
• July 4th with the cousins trying to set the city on fire.
• Started reading again.
• Chinese table.
• Meeting with Aimee about Northwestern Mutual.
• Lots of Commercial RE locations mapped out.
• Going to trek the 130 miles to Chicago.

     Something is missing. Something that will make my summer complete. It doesn’t help that my trip to Australia was just taken off the table. But even so, there’s something missing.

     Maybe it’s just that it’s late. But there’s something missing. I feel like I’ll constantly be trying to fill this hole. I have to improve.

     …and I don’t mean World of Warcraft.

Facebook has Won

     I recently posted a comment on Jim Keenan’s post about Google Me to the effect that Facebook has too much going for it in social networking for Google Me to have any real impact at this stage in the game: 1) Facebook has too many users and too much inertia, 2) Facebook is a latecomer to the social networking game.

     The first is an obvious advantage, but the second requires a bit of explanation. Being a latecomer, Facebook faced an audience that had already been gradually educated about what a social networking site was, and was feeling the pain of poor implementations. In my personal experience, different “generations” of netizens used different services – LiveJournal: rudimentary networking, somewhat byzantine user interface; Xanga: user interface improves a bit, networking still clunky; MySpace: User interface remains about on-par with Xanga (worse, in my opinion), but networking becomes ridiculously easy…so easy that it would become detrimental to the user experience.

     Then Facebook swooped in and not only avoided all of the problems of the previous generations of social networking sites, but also added significant features like privacy and a beautiful content publishing platform. Along the way, Facebook picked up another feature – all of our friends and family. Facebook’s value as a networked good is now too immense a force to halt by a newcomer to the social networking. It would be like fighting the tide. Facebook is to social networking as World of Warcraft is to the MMORPG, just as Google is to search; they were 2nd or third iterations of the same concept, and they are clearly the leaders at this junction and likely to ride on their success indefinitely. That is, until game changes.

Facebook has Won…This Game

     What will happen eventually is that the rules will change. Facebook helps us connect. Any other service seeking the same goal will be crushed by Facebook.

     But Facebook’s model is a demand-pull model – only if we want mutually to become friends will we become friends. It makes the world smaller, true, because you are connected to your friends through digitally tangible relationships. But the world is about to become quite a bit smaller. In fact, it recently shrunk by several orders of magnitude, and it’s going to keep getting smaller. How? Two trends:

     One: A game. A platform for exhibitionists. A random, trivial site, the product of a 17 year old’s fancy. I am, of course, speaking of ChatRoulette. ChatRoulette exploded in popularity, but after a few months, the hype died down and everyone forgot about it. But ChatRoulette did something daring. It goes way beyond just your friends or family; ChatRoulette opens up an entire world of people to you. It just happens to do it one bare-naked, semi-erect, pasty-white cock at a time.

     Which leads us to our second trend.

     Two: The internet knows more about you than you know about yourself. Almost everyone has a presence somewhere online, and everyone online, consciously or not, is building a brand for themselves. Everything you buy online is another record of who you are. Furthermore, your usage patterns, even if technically anonymized, can still identify you, and that’s before you factor in browser session data. Your intellectual fingerprint, your personality, is online. In some way, shape, or form, you have left your print on the world wide web.

     Privacy is an illusion. A comfortable illusion, but one that people still grasp onto.

     But we still haven’t gotten to the meat of the trend. Sites like Hunch and OKCupid also have users entering data about themselves to find matches – matching goods, matching services, matching partners. Matches today are so-so. Matches tomorrow? Better. The day after that? A little better. And so on and so forth. It might never be perfect, but considering the sheer amount of data available about you on the internet and the rate at which that mountain of data grows, it won’t be long until it’s close.

     The internet of tomorrow will not only know what you like now…it will know what you will like. The internet of tomorrow will run on Suggestion Networking – an intelligent, well-filtered, supply-pushed internet where the rest of the world (that is only the right parts of the world) will simply fall into step with you.

The Game Changer

     So where does this bring us to with regards to Facebook and Google Me? Facebook has won the social networking game. Google must change the game or fail, as it has with Orkut, with Wave, and with Buzz.

     Frankly, there’s a lot working against it – Facebook is a behemoth in the existing market, and judging by the backlash against Facebook for privacy violations, the populace at large probably isn’t ready for the next wave, placing Google in an increasingly thin margin in which to operate. And even if they do capitalize on the next wave, they would have the first mover disadvantage – that’s right, disadvantage – in that they’d have to expend time and effort to educate users about how to use this new networking tool. They would also be making the first, and the largest, mistakes. Newcomers to the Suggestion Networking game would be quick to capitalize on any shortcomings.

     Either way, the game is changing.